The problems with Christian Education

Getting a good education is critical for children and even adults. Education is a foundation in many ways. It teaches us basic principles about life, and opens up minds to endless possibilities. A good education gives the students limitless resources and is unbiased. Never should education be based on something that is not proven. Nor should it ever be based on religion. Christian education is not really an education because it is biased and is based on something that can not really be proven one way or another and it ignores facts. 

How can anyone say that an education that is founded completely on religion is unbiased? They can’t. The main schools or programs that are promoted in Christian education state clearly that they base their programs on the Bible. “The goal is the same today: to prepare children for the world today and give them the academic and spiritual tools necessary to achieve their God-given potential.” (ACE Why is their potential “God-given”? Fundamentalists believe that children have no potential in themselves but rather only in god. They can do nothing good and if they do something good, well, that is god working in them. This is from the school that I attended when I was not being home schooled.”…Biblical values and traditional educational standards using curriculum centered on a biblically ordered student/teacher relationship.” (Fairhaven Baptist Academy Feel free to read the rest of what is on that page. A bunch of BS. Here are a couple of other links to see the purpose or goals of the Christian schools. and There are others I am sure but these are the well-known programs. All of this shows that the very foundation of their schools are biased. They teach only things in a “Christian perspective”, as Abeka flaunts on all of their textbooks. The education that I received under these programs were flawed. It was a big push for fundamentalism. Brainwashing, if you want the honest truth. 

Christian education is based on Christianity. Duh, right? So Christianity is based on god or Jesus. Tell me this. Has anyone seen god? Has anyone spoken to him? I don’t think so. How do you know that god exists or doesn’t exist? Don’t say that the Bible says so. Seriously, that is the fundamentalist answer for everything. All that it means is that they are cornered and don’t have another argument. Been there, done that. Education is about presenting the facts. These facts are tested over and over again and are proved to be true. Christians will say that god is fact, the bible is fact, and so on. Really? If anyone has seen god in person, I would love to know about it. Christians base their whole education system on something or someone that is just a belief. It is not fact. I am sure that if you asked the Buddhist who god is they would say Buddha. The Muslims would say Mohamed. Every religion claims a different god. It is a belief, not an education basis. I hope I made that clear. Education should not be based on any religion because there is no outstanding evidence of a god. 

There is then the biggest argument that comes into play in Christian education. Creation vs. Evolution. Now, I will warn you that I am not a science buff. Evolution is new to me, but it’s concept is more understandable. Fundamentalists believe in Creation. (6 days god created the earth then rested on the 7th day.) Everything was created. The only things that have changed is the breeding of animals and all that stuff. In my school that was what was taught. They also told us that there was not any evolving after the creation. Everything was perfect and needed nothing to be complete. Evolution holds that the world evolved. People, animals, plants, and so on. (When I actually take a class on evolution, I will go into more detail. For now this is as good as it gets. Remember most of the things I know about evolution were taught at my Christian school as an argument against it.)  In college, I had to take a course that was Creationism vs. Evolution. Funny thing is that the more they explained Creationism, the less I understood. The more they explained about Evolution, the more I related to that. Ironic. Their explanation for fossils and extinct animals was based on a Bible story- Noah and the ark. (BTW I can not believe that they did a movie of that and another one about believing in god. Seriously!?) A lot of times their explaining went around in circles. Most of their arguments were traced back to the Bible. The fundamentalists completely ignore the fact that evolution is proven. It has been tested and retested. The only thing creation has going is the Bible said. Children shouldn’t be taught based on the Bible, rather on facts. Evolution is fact. 

I hope that this all made sense. Like, I mentioned before I am not a science or even an educational expert. I am just telling it the way I observed it. Thanks for reading.



Cult Video

I know that this is a long video, but it is well worth watching. It is amazing to see the hold that cult leaders have on their followers and the lengths these people will actually going to. Very eye opening for sure. If this link doesn’t work then look it up on youtube- cult documentary national geographic. Thanks!


Sorry I have not posted in a while.I had to take a little break to work some things out personally. It has been a very difficult time, but an eyeopening time as well. I will post hopefully by the end of the week. 

For now I can give a little update. While my personal life has been up and down, my schooling is going well. I have shocked myself and am so far getting an A in math. (Something the teachers at my IFB schools said I could never do because I was too dumb. Proving them wrong is so amazing.) My papers in school are getting easier to do. It helps to know that I can finally express my feelings and not have to fear getting in trouble with pastors. I am excited to continue and see where this road takes me.

My Weekend back in the IFB

This past weekend I had to go back home for a couple days. My grandfather was having surgery, so I wanted to be with him. Since I didn’t want to impose on him, I stayed the night at my dad’s house. Of course that had to be a Sunday night. Which meant I had to go to their church. At first I was gonna protest, but then I thought it could be fun to see what is going on. So I went. Here are some things that either pissed me off or made me glad that I am no longer in the IFB churches or in any church. 

My brother was the one that was preaching that night. For some reason the pastor has been having him and my other brother preach a lot. So, I thought it would be interesting. I would get to see first hand how brainwashed my family really was. Damn was he ever brainwashed. I mean like really bad. The first half of his sermon was about how wrong it was to feel good. Apparently the only time someone can feel good is when they are doing god’s work. It was sad. My brother said and I quote, “Whatever makes us feel good, is bad.” So are we supposed to live a horrible life????? I almost started to cry in the sermon. I wanted to tell him that you can have a damn fucking good life outside of church and religion. You don’t need things or other people to define your happiness. You define it. 

Then there was the cruel remarks that were made against gay people. Seriously! We went out to eat, and my dad was pissed off that a gay man dared to serve him. He kept whispering things to me, but loud enough so that the man could hear if he wanted. It was sick. I was going to say something, but held my tongue because I knew that it would upset things with my grandfather and he didn’t need that. And because I really don’t think it will do me any good to waste my breath on a close minded person. And on top of it, I had to leave crying because my dad said he hated homosexuals. I know if he knew about me that opinion wouldn’t change one bit.

I couldn’t wait to get out of there. The negativity was so bad. Everything that my dad saw he had to comment on and most of it was not good. He called a few people fat slobs. He talked about how wrong people are for getting Obamacare. He and my stepmom complained about their marriage. Seriously, if you are not happy, why are you together?  By the time I left on Monday afternoon, I was so sick. My stomach had sharp pains and I couldn’t breath. I have an autoimmune disease and these are the signs I get when get sick from being too upset. I get a flare up basically. 

Last night I cried my self to sleep. While I was glad that I am out of there and I had the reassurance that I did the right thing by leaving, I felt as though I had lost my family. My family will never really love me. Not in the true sense of love. They want me to be a good Christian girl and that is not who I am. I left all that behind. It sucks that the one thing I gave up so much for has turned into the most painful thing in my life. 

I was glad to get home. My real home. I told my boyfriend that I do not belong there anymore. That is not my real family. My real family are my grandparents, aunt, boyfriend, and true friends. My home is where I am now. I don’t regret anything. Being in that church Sunday night really woke me up. I realized how bad it was there, and that if I had stayed I would have eventually killed myself from all the negativity. Needless to say, I am very happy in my life. 


Being a homosexual in the IFB

Fundamentalist always go on and on about how much they hate gay people. I am not going to sugar coat it with all their bullshit. They hate them- period. They see homosexuals as a threat. Pastors constantly are insisting that the Christian community is being persecuted by gay people. This is simply not true. 

Next door to the church where I was at there live a lesbian couple. They were a very quiet and peaceful couple. Never caused any problems what so ever. Guess who did though? The pastor of our church. He would go over there at least every other month and try to “save” or convert them. When this didn’t work, he would send people over to offer to buy their house. I mean like he would offer ridiculous amounts of money. The women always refused. They were happy where they were. Then when that didn’t work the pastor had bell put in the church tower. When they rang it was loud. He rang them at least twice a day for all the “sinners in the community to hear.” Well, the pastor has yet to kick them out. He is still trying though, no doubt. What is funny though, is not once did these ladies ever harass the pastor. Not once. Never even stepped a foot on church property. 

Sermons were always preached about gays. We were told that they were all going to be sent to hell. We were told that all of them had AIDS. Actually our pastor believed AIDS was a disease sent from god to destroy the gay community. Our pastor would say that the parents needed to beat the children who they thought were gay. The girls, thought to be lesbian were forced to dress really girly. The guys were force to do hard manual labor. One of my friends was beat and raped because he was gay. Another two of my friends were kicked out of the college because they were found in bed together. In both cases their reputations were dragged through the dirt. 

So, I am going to open up here and be honest.This may come back to bite me in the ass but to hell with it. I am bisexual. Never have told anyone other than my boyfriend. I have no choice in the matter. It was the way I was born.( Huge misconception in the IFB is that this is a choice.) Have known it since I was a kid. it wasn’t something I just stumbled on. When I was a kid I was told that if I ever became lesbian or bisexual that I would be beat to death. That was a great motivation for me to keep my mouth shut. When i got kicked out of college for watching porn, one of the first questions that I  was asked was if I was attracted to the women in the videos. I lied. I was already being threatened to be sent away. Plus I knew what my other friends went through and was scared out to death. I can tell you listening to my dad preach about how much he hated homosexuals was always painful. I wanted him to love me, and I didn’t have that to begin with, let alone if I admitted to being bisexual. 

I was under the impression that Christians were supposed to love everyone and be compassionate. I mean, if they want to get technical about it. John 3:16- for god so loved the world. Homosexuals are apart of this world. I think that maybe they need to practice what their bible say, because isn’t that what they teach- to follow the bible? 


My Body, My Choices

Here is a little rant for today. In the IFB women are taught that their body is their husbands, right? (Father’s if your not married. EWW) At least that is what I was told. I was told to keep myself looking good and pure for the right man. If we are honest, most IFB women were probably told that. 

This teaching never set right with me. If my body was someone else’s body, then why the hell weren’t they born with it?! Makes sense to me. It wasn’t ever okay with me that I was always told what to wear, how to do my hair, makeup and nails. And if non of that made sense then it sure didn’t make sense that I was told that my purity belonged to a man. Eh, sorry, but it doesn’t. (Not really sorry.) 

One of the things my family hates now is that I have tattoos and more than one ear piercing. God forbid! (I’m literally rolling my eyes at that.) Lucky me I was in the hospital when my dad found out I had a tattoo. Plenty of people around. He couldn’t yell. Seriously, though, since when is it his choice or any man’s choice? I don’t see a man attached to my body anywhere. We are two separate, independent people. I am dating. He has no choice in whether or not I get another tattoo or piercing. He knows that. He doesn’t like a lot of tattoos on women, but he knows it is my choice, not his to make. Like I said we are separate. 

Here is my biggest pet peeve. Sex and purity and all that crap. No my f**king purity is not a man’s. (Too late anyway.) Since when is the girl’s purity her fathers or her husbands. That just sounds messed up. It is messed up. The thought makes me sick. Yet, they believe that. It just gives the men more control. Now let’s talk about after marriage, it the girl waited that long. Sweetheart, your husband has no god damn right to tell you that you have to have sex. I heard this so many times in sermons: “Women, if you refuse your man, it is your fault when he looks elsewhere.” No, it isn’t. If your husband or boyfriend forces you into sex it is rape. End of story. Speak up though. If you don’t feel like sex, say so. Otherwise the guy has no clue. Women do have that right. It is, again their body. My body doesn’t belong to anyone. I don’t like it when women and men say that their body parts belong to the other mate. Nope, sorry, they don’t. 

So, yeah. My body, my choice. 

My Secrets

In the IFB there are always secrets. Anyone who has been in it knows it. Fundamentalists are pros at keeping them. And as an ex fundie I am quite good at it too. I’m tired or it though. So here is somethings that I have never talked about. 

After leaving the cult, I was molested 2 other times. Once by an ex, and once in the workplace. Both of them did the same exact things that my childhood abuser had done when i was in the cult. I still have no clue how to handle it. I told my counselor finally that I have grown to hate certain parts of my body. That is just the truth. I told her it feels like in some ways it has become more of a curse then anything good.

A member in my family molested the man that molested me while in the cult. In fact according to my abuser, I was his revenge plan. I have a lot of feelings about this one. I am disgusted that my own family would do something like that to begin with. Then I am more so angry at the person who molested me. I was a kid and had no control over anything. But I feel sympathy towards my abuser because I know what it is like to be sexually abused. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this one. None of it makes sense. All I know is that it makes me feel worse about all of it. 

Don’t get this one wrong. I hate what my dad did to me. I don’t hate my dad, but i hate what he did and the way that he made me feel. He really put me through a lot as a kid. He was very abusive and controlling. I lived in fear of him most of my life. What changed was that I realized that he is only human as well. He however, was my only parent. I wish that he would have been a better one. To be honest I get jealous of people who can have a relationship with their dad that is good. Sad to say, I am not confident that I will ever know that. 

I’m a cutter. I really don’t know when i started this exact form of self harm. I know when I was in my early teens I would scratch myself until I bled. My reasoning behind it is a lot of guilt and self hate. 

Though I am recovering and making progress, it is a process. I am not there yet. Never have said that I was there. One day I hope to get to the point where these things don’t bother me as much and where I can move on. Note: I seeing a counselor. I am not just dealing with this on my own. I am getting help.