Fundamentalists and Sexual Abuse

There is no denying it. Sexual abuse is very prevalent in the IFB churches. It happens way too often and many times at the hands of the churches most esteemed members or even the pastor himself.

When sexually abuse happens, the victim is usually the one to get looked down on. The pastor often thinks they did something to deserve this. They weren’t in God’s will and did something to upset him.

Some girls are made to read letters of apology to the congregation. Some their families turn their backs on them. Some are made out to look like whores and sluts, the pastors saying that they asked for it. Some are told that their dress is too suggestive or the way that they walk is suggestive. Some are put down to the point that they see their life as worthless.

The abuser gets off free, usually. Usually he is just told to not let it happen again. He is allowed to work with children in ministries still. He is sometimes “promoted” even. He is usually esteemed by the pastor. The pastors will side with him and saying that the girl seduced him.

These girls (and boys) who are abused are stuck most of the time. They have no help. They learn on their own how to deal with the pain and grief. Most of the parents will side with the pastors and some parents (sad to say) are the abusers. These victims survive by going along with whatever the pastor says and hope that one day it will all end.

You may wonder why no one calls the police. It is installed in IFB children from a young age that you do not call the police. You go to your parents or pastor first. Plus in sermons they are taught to never press charges against a fellow Christian. This then allows for cover ups of a lot of things.

Many of the victims, do blame themselves for this happening. When this happened, I thought that it was because I didn’t go up to the altar to pledge my virginity. For years I hated myself for this and thought that what I had happened was my punishment. I went though so much due to this. Depression, anxiety, nightmares, stress, and it goes on.

So many children and women suffer at the hands of these “men of God.” A lot of it goes unknown. Many times when the victim does speak up they find that it is too late to press charges, due to the years that have gone by. So for some they never get the justice.

It is sad really that men who claim to do the work of God, would hurt so many people. I also don’t understand why God would allow them to go on doing this.

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6 thoughts on “Fundamentalists and Sexual Abuse

  1. Debby, I am so sorry for all of your pain and hurt. Shame, shame, shame on anyone who makes a child or another woman feel inferior in any way at all! I remember as a young woman in Bible school being made to feel as though I was dirty just for being female. Writing about it has shown me just how messed up my mind was for so long. There were times when I knew I was being ganged up on by men and women in spiritual authority, but because I was so brain washed I would cave in and continue to follow such sadists.

    Thank you for having the strength to share your story. There are many people who need to know what you have to say because they don’t even know where to begin to tell their stories of pain. Keep up the good work and be encouraged.

    • Thank you so much! I understand what you mean by being confronted by the spiritual authority. It really sucks that they put people through so much pain.

      It does help the healing progress, at least for me, to be able to talk about it. Also to feel like I am shedding light on the Fundamentalist. Even if just a few people hear what I have to say. That then is a few more people who know.

      • Hello Debby,

        Thank you for being so brave in sharing your message with us mere strangers, it’s a story that needs to be heard.

        I just nominated you for the Liebster Award.

  2. Wow, Debby. I am so sorry to hear about this nonsense. It’s definitely not a surprise, when you have any sort of church environment or cult like group that thrives on brainwashing, you are bound to have sexual abuse in the secret closets of the indoctrination. I’m sorry you had to deal with this, but I commend your courage to speaking out and sharing your story!

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